Letter of Complaint to the Home Office

Sir, 

I watched the BBC's program "Luther", a fly-on-the wall documentary about the Serious Crime Unit in London. Your detectives are a fine body of men, working hard to keep the public safe from satanists, diamond thieves and nutters armed with hammers. I salute them. 

But what hideous neckties they all wear! Talk about a serious crime! I had to stop watching. And what's the point of even wearing a tie if you're going to subvert the whole idea by leaving the knot half-way down your front, like a teenage oik trudging unwillingly to school? 

Is it any wonder that the streets of London are full of glue sniffers, if this is the example the police set? 

I've voted Conservative all my life, but this is the final straw. 

Yours faithfully,  Maynard Dingethorpe

 The Home Office replies: